I’ve just ordered an empty cardboard box from Chernobyl. It was the cheapest microwave I could find.
I was gonna make a joke about yo mama being fat but she’s already got too much on her plate.
Q. What do you call a Chinese pedophile?
A. Fu Kum Yung.
Have you heard about the latest apple product?
It’s green and it goes in your mouth… It’s called a ‘Granny Smith’.
You: “Have you ever blown bubbles as a kid?” Him: “Yes” You: “Well he’s back in town and he wants your phone number”
Yo mama is so stupid that when she was making French toast she got her tongue stuck in the toaster.