Had some great news today. I asked my boss if he wanted me to work over Christmas and he told me not to come back… I was worried he might be angry after I slept with his wife at the Christmas party.
Scientists have discovered that giving people 5 Covid vaccines at the same time is 100% effective at stopping Covid. The only downside is you have a 99.99% chance of dying straight after.
Me and my girlfriend were in the throes of sexual ecstasy last night when she whispered, “leave me breathless darling.”
So I punched her in the stomach.