01Apr Weighing Scale By Stevo in General Jokes Tags: Virus jokes +85 -44 Stepped on my weighing scale this morning and it said: “Please use social distancing, one person at a time”.
31Aug Vaccine By BillyG in Racist Jokes Tags: Black Jokes, Virus jokes +50 -22 Just invented a vaccine that can save 3 million Africans per year. It’s called FOOD.
29Apr Weight By SteveB in Relationship Jokes Tags: Virus jokes, Wife Jokes +36 -14 Just had the following conversation with my wife. Wife: Can’t believe how much weight I’ve gained since lockdown. Me: You haven’t gained that much weight. Come on… chin up. No, the other one.
11Mar Survived By Dave in Political Jokes Tags: Virus jokes +42 -25 Shit I’ve survived: Mad Cow Disease ✓ HIV Aids ✓ Sars ✓ Bird Flu ✓ Swine Flu ✓ Ebola ✓ Coronavirus (pending)
20Sep 3 Step Covid Test By EmD in Political Jokes Tags: Virus jokes +26 -10 1. Pour a glass of wine 2. If you can smell it you don’t have Covid 3. If you can taste it you don’t have Covid Repeat 15 times just be to sure.
27May Break Up Ideas By Dave in Relationship Jokes Tags: Virus jokes +33 -24 If you break up with your girlfriend and she wants to move out make sure you order her a taxi for 8pm on Thursday. That way with everyone clapping it’ll look like the whole street is glad to see the back of her.