The Best Funny Virus jokes

Weighing Scale

in General Jokes
+49 -21

Stepped on my weighing scale this morning and it said:

“Please use social distancing, one person at a time”.

Survived

in Political Jokes
+33 -19

Shit I’ve survived:

Mad Cow Disease ✓
HIV Aids ✓
Sars ✓
Bird Flu ✓
Swine Flu ✓
Ebola ✓
Coronavirus (pending)

Weight

in Relationship Jokes
+16 -12

Just had the following conversation with my wife.

Wife: Can’t believe how much weight I’ve gained since lockdown.
Me: You haven’t gained that much weight. Come on… chin up. No, the other one.

Virus Over

in Relationship Jokes
+20 -20

When this virus is over I really hope people continue to stay the hell away from me.

Corona

in Political Jokes
+27 -28

I haven’t seen a virus like this since pornhub destroyed my mom’s desktop in 2005.

Covid19 Pickup Line

in Pick Up Lines
+4 -8

Hey babe! Did you know that Covid19 isn’t spread by genitals?