My Wife has this really annoying habit. She keeps breathing.
Yo Mama is so ugly that she has to do trick or treat over the phone!
The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves.
My friend only jerks off in the shower. So every time it rains be gets a boner
Why did Dracula go to the doctors?
Because of his coffin.
CALENDAR FACT: All the seasons are named after coils of metal.
Except Winter and Summer.
And Autumn.