I’m not saying my wife’s cooking is bad…..
But several weapons manufacturers from the Middle-East have been trying to buy her recipes.
Q. Whats the best thing about getting a blow job from your girlfriend?
A. 5 minutes of silence.
Man: Do you think small things are cute? Woman: Yes Man: Well that’s a relief because my cock and bank balance are tiny.
Last night a girl in a bar told me “I wouldn’t f*ck you if you were the last person alive.” I leaned over to her and whispered “But who would be around to stop me?”
That wiped the smug look off her face.
Is it still rape if we’re standing under mistletoe?
Does anyone know where I can register to become a sex offender?