Why does a day have 24 hours? Because this is the point scientists get bored of counting and they called it a day.
My Muslim friend said that the festival of Eid is like a Muslim Christmas. Last night I left out a stocking, a glass of sherry and a pork pie but Mohammed didn’t bring me any presents.
Do gun manuals have a “trouble shooting?” section?
I’ve never had any luck with women. When I was a baby my mother refused to breastfeed me, she said she only liked me as a friend.
Just had the Covid vaccine. Anyone know where I can get a Windows 10 upgrade and Office 365? Just had a sudden urge to buy Microsoft software.
I asked a girl at the gym today what her New Years Resolution is and she said “F*ck you!”. Looks like 2017 is going to be a good year.