I don’t understand why banks get so upset when you can’t repay a loan.
They already knew I had no money when I came to borrow the money.
Boy: Can you catch?? Girl: Why? Boy: Because I’ve got a couple of balls coming your way.
I like my women the way I like my coffee, hot wet and filled with cream.
Earlier today my wife asked me to pass her some lip balm but I ended up giving her superglue by mistake. She’s still not talking to me.
Before I die I’m gonna swallow a whole bag of popcorn kernels.
My cremation is gonna be epic.
Why are French history books blank? Because history is written by the winners.