If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Instead, there would just a bunch of angry countries not talking to each other.
Boy: Can you catch?? Girl: Why? Boy: Because I’ve got a couple of balls coming your way.
I like my women the way I like my coffee, hot wet and filled with cream.
Can’t believe how desperate my maths teacher is, he keeps asking me to find his x. I think it’s time he faced the truth, she’s not coming back.
Earlier today my wife asked me to pass her some lip balm but I ended up giving her superglue by mistake. She’s still not talking to me.
Before I die I’m gonna swallow a whole bag of popcorn kernels.
My cremation is gonna be epic.