When I was younger I used to think I was gay but then I found out that playing with yourself doesn’t count.
I’ve just Wrote a really awesome song about fajitas… Well it’s more of a wrap really.
Had a really stiff neck when I woke up this morning. My wife said she hopes it spreads.
Mating call of a seagull: “Twert Twert!” Mating call of an owl: “Twoo Twooo!” Mating call of a blackbird: “Stick it up my ass Winston!”
Q. How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. None, they don’t need light bulbs.
I hate being bipolar, it’s amazing.