If a parrot is able to recite the Lords Prayer does that make it a bird of prey?
I think my local mosque has a bouncy castle inside, every time I go past I always see a big pile of shoes in the doorway.
Just had the following conversation with my girlfriend.
Girlfriend: I’ve had enough, I’m leaving you because you’re too cocky. Me: That’s cool. Make sure you close the door on your way back in.
My friend called me a ‘tool’ so I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. I guess he was right.
I said to my girlfriend, “Please get me a newspaper.” “Don’t be silly,” she replied, “you can borrow my iPad.”
That spider never knew what f*cking hit it.
Tinder is for rookies. I used Facebook marketplace and search for wedding dresses. It gives you all the recently divorced females in your area and you can filter by size.