Saw a fire breakout at my local mosque yesterday so I reported it to the emergency services.
Hopefully they got my message and did something to help otherwise it will have been a waste of a first class stamp.
I used to work for a Jewish carpenter.
He used to check my fingers for splinters to make sure I wasn’t stealing.
Why don’t Greeks get much sleep?
Their pillars are too hard
This morning my wife asked me where i want to be buried.
Apparently “balls deep in your sister” wasn’t the right answer.
1 slice of apple pie:
Jamaica $4.50 Bahamas $6.50 Aruba $3.50 Cayman Islands $10.50
These are the real pie rates of the Caribbean.
Just got mugged by an Irish man. He came up to me with a knife and shouted “Give me all your money otherwise you’re geography.” I said “Don’t you mean history?” He said “Don’t try and change the subject. “