Got tasered picking up my friend from the airport today. Apparently security don’t like it when you shout ‘hi-Jack’.
My wife told me to get our ginger son ready for his first day at school.
So I punched him in the face and stole his dinner money.
Q. What do women and Google have in common? A. They both can’t ever let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.
3 reasons why you should get a $100 bill tattooed onto your salami.
1. You can play with your money. 2. You can watch your money grow. 3. Every woman loves to blow money.
You remind me of a cloud. When you disappear my day gets brighter.
A ginger lady at work recently announced that she was having a baby with her black boyfriend. When discussing possible baby names my suggestion of “Terry the Chocolate Orange” was apparently ‘offensive’ could lead to me getting ‘fired’.