Q. Why do gay people love Scotland? A. Because the men wear skirts and the country’s full of tight arses.
My dad never loved me as a child. I can’t blame him really. I wasn’t born until he was an adult.
You remind me of Mondays… Nobody likes you and you make me feel tired.
My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.
So I hit her over the head with my Xbox.
My credit card was stolen yesterday but not sure if I should report it. The thief is spending a lot less than my wife normally does.
Making love to a woman is like playing the violin…
I don’t know how to do it.