The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Went to the hospital today to see a doctor because me and my wife have been struggling to have a baby. He told me I have a condition called ‘small cox’.

I like to make love to my wife with a mirror in the room. I usually put it under her nose to make sure she’s still breathing.

The following conversation took place between a couple while out shopping.

Woman: “Does this dress make me look fat?”
Man: “No… But your face does.”

My wife took a pregnancy test today and my worst fear was confirmed… she’s just a fat pig.

I’m not saying my wife’s cooking is bad…..

But several weapons manufacturers from the Middle-East have been trying to buy her recipes.

Today is my 5th Wedding Anniversary and it’s been a total nightmare. On the plus side I’m now no longer scared of terrorism.