The Best Funny Wife Jokes

My wife hates sex so much her favorite position is back to back.

My wife is never satisfied. Yesterday she complained that I never make bed in breakfast. Today she’s complaining because I put our bed in the kitchen.

Just bought my wife a desk-lamp for Christmas.

Her face is really gonna light up when she sees it.

I’ve just been given two weeks to live. My wife’s going on vacation for a couple of weeks.

Think my wife might be cheating on me. Every time I put the key in the lock to get in my house the parrot shouts “Quick out the window, quick out the window”.

When you get married you get 3 rings. Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffer-ring.