The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Yesterday I asked my wife what she wanted for her upcoming birthday and she told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds. I hope she likes the pack of playing cards I got her.

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife.

Wife: How many women have u slept with?
Husband: Only you darling, I was awake with the other women.

Can’t believe how weird my wife is. Every time we have a conversation she always starts with “Did you hear what I just said?”

I tried to drown my troubles the other night but the wife doesn’t like swimming.

My wife suggested we should try some role reversal in bed so I told her I have a headache.

My wife told me earlier today the spark between us had gone.
So I tasered her.

I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.