The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Since my wife left me I’ve been left with a really big gap to fill.. She was quite fat and we had a memory foam mattress.

Went to the hospital today to see a doctor because me and my wife have been struggling to have a baby. He told me I have a condition called ‘small cox’.

I like to make love to my wife with a mirror in the room. I usually put it under her nose to make sure she’s still breathing.

The other day my wife asked me to get her face tattooed on my arm. I said “Why? I don’t need to, I’ve already got a boil on my ass that looks just like you”.

My wife and I have decided we don’t want children. If anybody does please send me your email address and we can drop them off tomorrow.

My wife left me for a weather man. She’ll be mist.