The Best Funny Wife Jokes

As soon as it gets frosty outside my wife becomes obsessed with looking through the window.

Maybe I should let her in the house.

My wife recently told me she’s byesexual, she only likes to have sex twice a year.

My wife made me dress up as a policeman last night. I really didn’t feel like going into work but apparently my sergeant called and threatened disciplinary action if I didn’t turn up.

My wife hates sex so much her favorite position is back to back.

My wife is never satisfied. Yesterday she complained that I never make bed in breakfast. Today she’s complaining because I put our bed in the kitchen.

Just bought my wife a desk-lamp for Christmas.

Her face is really gonna light up when she sees it.