The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Three things that can make a man depressed.

1. Job Sucks
2. Bank balance sucks
3. Wife doesn’t suck

What’s the difference between a wife and a job? A job still sucks after 10 years.

Just told my wife I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist. She told me she’s been seeing a psychiatrist, a bartender and 2 plumbers.

Q. What do you do if your wife comes crawling back?

A. Drag her back into the garden and make sure you dig the hole deeper.

Q:What do you do if your wife keeps moaning at you?

A:Put the phone down and order another drink from the bar.

The following conversation took place between a wife and husband after a lottery win.

Husband: Pack your bags honey, I’ve just won the lottery!!
Wife: What??
Husband: Pack your bags, I’ve just won the lottery!!
Wife: Now way!! This is amazing!! Where are we going?
Husband: We’re going nowhere, just pack your bags and f*ck off!!