The Best Funny Wife Jokes

My wife is so selfish when we make love she screams out her own name.

Three Rules of Marriage to avoid disaster.
1. Never come home at 4am and ask for breakfast.
2. Never leave the toilet seat up.
3. Wife is never wrong.

Been with my wife 25 years today. Having sex with the same person for all that time takes a lot of dedication. I don’t know how she managed it.

My wife told me that she wants me to make her feel like a “real woman” so I took my shirt off and said “Here you go, iron this”.

My wife is so bad at cooking we usually pray after eating our food.

The following conversation took place between an unemployed husband and his wife.
Husband: Today I’m gonna take you out for a meal.
Wife: Wow, did you manage to find a job?
Husband: No, I lost the house playing poker.