The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Been with my wife 25 years today. Having sex with the same person for all that time takes a lot of dedication. I don’t know how she managed it.

My wife told me that she wants me to make her feel like a “real woman” so I took my shirt off and said “Here you go, iron this”.

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife before bed.

Wife: Have you emptied the trash tonight?
Husband: Erm no, I’ll do it in the morning.
Wife: What about the cat?
Husband: I can ask but I think it might be a bit too heavy for him to lift.

My wife is so selfish when we make love she screams out her own name.

Last night my wife came up to me wearing sexy lingerie and told me I can do anything I want so I decided to tie her up and go to the bar for a few drinks.

Last night I spent the entire evening watching Jaws 3. My wife, her mother and her sister all came over and were talking all night.