The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Spoke to my son yesterday to teach him about the birds and the bees. He ended up teaching me about my wife and the milkman.

Last night my wife told me she doesn’t like giving bl*wjobs because her jaw starts to hurt. Seems to work fine when she talks for hours on end.

Last night my wife told me she wanted to do some role-play and aked me to pick any scene from any film. She quickly realised this was a mistake after I shouted “THIS IS SPARTA” and kicked her down the stairs.

I’m currently having an affair but I’ve saved my mistress’ phone number as ‘LOW BATTERY’.

Whenever she calls and I’m not around my wife plugs my phone into the charger.

My wife´s suspicious mind is really begining to annoy me. Last night after looking at my calendar she wanted to know who May was.