The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Spoke to my son yesterday to teach him about the birds and the bees. He ended up teaching me about my wife and the milkman.

Last night my wife told me she doesn’t like giving bl*wjobs because her jaw starts to hurt. Seems to work fine when she talks for hours on end.

I think I might be the most unlucky person in the world. Last night my wife told me she wants to have sex on the back seat of her car, she was wondering if I could drive.

My wife´s suspicious mind is really begining to annoy me. Last night after looking at my calendar she wanted to know who May was.

My wife told me I was one in a million. After looking though her text messages I found out she was right.

It’s my wife’s birthday today so I’ve decided to get her a pair of slippers and a dildo. If she doesn’t like the slippers she can go f*ck herself.