Best Funny Relationship Jokes

I no longer see my wife and kids and it’s all because of gambling.

I won shitloads of money and moved to Spain.

The following conversation took place after my girlfriend called me immature

Me: If I’m immature, how come I’ve got an Asfor?
Girlfriend: What’s an Asfor?
Me: Shitting, hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

I used to be in love with a girl from Moscow. I almost asked her to marry me but I didn’t want to Russia.

Why is Cupid is a symbol for love? Personally, I find the idea of an arrow being shot through your heart by a flying baby extremely horrifying.

Me and my girlfriend were in the throes of sexual ecstasy last night when she whispered, “leave me breathless darling.”
So I punched her in the stomach.

Three reasons why a woman is like a bottle of wine?

1. They’re difficult to pick.
2. They become more expensive with time.
3. If you taste it too early its a gRAPE.