Best Funny Relationship Jokes

Funny short relationship jokes that pokes fun at relationships and marriage. Also includes numerous jokes about women and men.

May

Total Opposites

By RodneyD

in Relationship Jokes

Tags: Wife Jokes

+25 -19

Me and my wife are total opposites. She donates money to the homeless, I donate money to the topless.

Mar

Girlfriend

By Captain Kirk

in Relationship Jokes

+16 -10

I just can’t seem to get a girlfriend even though I can speak two languages fluently.

English and Klingon.

Jun

Five Things

By SteveB

in Relationship Jokes

+29 -23

Five things men know about women.

1. They like shoes
2.
3.

Oct

Relationship Status

By Dave

in Relationship Jokes

+36 -30

My Current Relationship Status:

Made dinner for two… Ate both.

Apr

Great Relationship Tip

By BrapA

in Relationship Jokes

+15 -10

While your girlfriend is asleep stick a nicotine patch on her arm and then take it off before she wakes up.

That way if you ever break up she’ll get withdrawal symptoms, think she’s in love and want you back.

Feb

Trash

By Dave

in Relationship Jokes

Tags: Wife Jokes

+19 -14

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife before bed.

Wife: Have you emptied the trash tonight?
Husband: Erm no, I’ll do it in the morning.
Wife: What about the cat?
Husband: I can ask but I think it might be a bit too heavy for him to lift.