Best Funny Dirty Jokes

Apparently men think about sex every seven seconds. Luckily I wrote this in sex.

I went to hospital last night after breaking my left arm and the doctor told me I had to stop jerking off. I said “Why? What’s that got to do with anything?” he said “We’ve been having complaints about you from the other patients”.

My son walked in today with his new girlfriend.

“This is Sarah,” he burst out.

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” I smiled.

“Really? All good I hope,” she smirked.

“Oh yes, he’s a lucky boy,” I replied. “It was a year before his mother let me do her in the ass.”

Q. What do you call a gay on a bicycle?
A. Bike-curious.

What’s brown and sticky?
Anal