Best Funny Dirty Jokes

I came into a lot of money last week which is unusual for me… I normally uses tissues.

Just had a message from that girlfriend that she’s had a beautiful little girl weighing 7lbs 3oz. Coincidentally that’s the same size as my c*ck.

My new girlfriend is an animal in bed. Her pussy is wetter than a retards chin.

Just saved a woman tonight from the shame of prostitution. I didn’t pay her.

Decided to have a posh wank today.

The people at the suit hire shop were really angry that I ruined their tuxedo.

Apparently men think about sex every seven seconds. Luckily I wrote this in sex.