Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The best top rated funny short dirty jokes of all time. Hilariously rude humor that looks at the funny side of sex.


in Dirty Jokes
+18 -45

Decided to have a posh wank today.

The people at the suit hire shop were really angry that I ruined their tuxedo.

Left Arm

in Dirty Jokes
+24 -52

I went to hospital last night after breaking my left arm and the doctor told me I had to stop jerking off. I said “Why? What’s that got to do with anything?” he said “We’ve been having complaints about you from the other patients”.

Best dads

in Dirty Jokes
+24 -53

Q. Why do gays make the best dads?
A. Because they know where all the parks are.

Beach Volleyball

in Dirty Jokes
+21 -51

Terrible wrist injury in the Olympic Ladies Beach Volleyball earlier today. Hopefully my wrist will be OK by tomorrow.


in Dirty Jokes
+16 -46

My best friend just told me he’s having a baby. I asked him if he wanted a boy or a girl, he said he just wanted a blow job.

The Pizza

in Dirty Jokes
+11 -42

I like to call my penis ‘The Pizza’. Not because it’s twelve inches, but because its covered in cheese, and the occasional mushroom.