Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The best top rated funny short dirty jokes of all time. Hilariously rude humor that looks at the funny side of sex.

200 Million

in Dirty Jokes
+11 -31

I killed 200 million people last night and feeling quite guilty. That’s the last time I read dirty magazine in bed.

Vegetarians

in Dirty Jokes
+39 -59

Q. Why are vegetarians really good at giving head?
A. Because they’re used to eating nuts.

Marines

in Dirty Jokes
+10 -30

Just been thrown out of the marines for sexually assaulting someone during martial arts training. Apparently the Sergent told us to fight ‘hand-to-hand’ not ‘hand-to-gland’.

Fake

in Dirty Jokes
+34 -54

Managed to fake my first orgasm with my wife the other night. I just made a loud grunting noise and then poured warm yogurt on her ass.

13

in Dirty Jokes
+21 -41

Don’t you just hate it when you’re having sex with a 13 year old and a cop comes out from nowhere and tells you to get out of the grave.

Swans

in Animal Jokes, Dirty Jokes
+31 -52

Whoever said swans mate for life is a complete liar. As soon as I let my swan go it flew away.