Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Chimpanzee Attack

in Animal Jokes
+17 -36

Did you hear about the 3 zoo employees who were injured recently? They got attacked by a chimpanzee that set fire to it’s own feces using a discarded cigarette. Apparently they were rushed to the hospital with TURD degree burns.

Discarded Coin

in Animal Jokes, Surreal Jokes
+18 -37

Most people think that when you find a discarded coin in your house it got there by accident but I actually think it was brought there by spiders trying to pay you rent.

Venison

in Animal Jokes
+5 -24

Just bought some venison from the supermarket, its dead deer.

TV Lies

in Animal Jokes
+32 -51

Can’t believe how much my TV lies. Put my pet turtles in the microwave earlier today and they still can’t do any Karate.

Swings

in Animal Jokes
+23 -42

Whats white and swings from tree to tree?

A spunkey

Pandas

in Animal Jokes
+11 -30

Q. Why do Pandas have black eyes?
A. Because they can’t satisfy their man.