Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Jan

Resolutions

By Dannw

in General Jokes

+33 -9

My New Year’s resolutions are: 1. Stop making lists. B. Be more consistent. 7. Learn to count.

Jun

Jigsaw

By Thomas

in Disabled Jokes

+86 -62

Just recently finished a jigsaw puzzle in only 5 months, the box said 2-4 years.

May

Cafe

By Dave

in Relationship Jokes

+38 -14

Following conversation took place between husband and wife in a cafe.

Husband: I love you.
Wife: Is that you talking or the wine?
Husband: I was talking to the wine.

Jun

Wheelchair

By Paul

in Disabled Jokes

+106 -82

I really can’t stand being in a wheelchair.

May

Pulled over

By BillyK

in General Jokes

+47 -23

Just been pulled over by police and tasered after the following conversation…

Police: Turn around.
Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never coming round.
Police: TURN AROUND!!
Me: BRIGHT EYES, Every now and then I fall apart. And you I need you now tonight, and I need you more than EV(**Tasering starts**)AHHHH!

Sep

Cucumber Sales

By Dave

in Dirty Jokes

+63 -39

Asda have reported a 300% increase in cucumber sales since the book ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ was released.