Are you Google? … Because you’ve got everything I’m searching for.
Yo mama is so ugly even a boiling kettle won’t whistle at her.
Q. How do you make a pool table laugh? A. Reach into its pockets and tickle its balls.
My wife used to be afraid of the dark until she saw me nayked, now she’s afraid of the light.
Got thrown out of my local swimming pool today for urinating. I probably could have got away with it if I was in the pool and not on the diving board.
The following conversation took place at the supermarket while buying condoms.
Cashier: Do you want a bag for that? Me: Thanks for the compliment but I think the condoms should be big enough.