Just got back home from holiday and my new puppy has caused a lot of problems. It shat everywhere, ripped all the furniture and then starved to death.
Yo mama smells so bad when flies land on her they always throw up.
The following conversation took place between a husband and wife in Dublin.
Paddy: Hi, darling, hope you had a nice day at work, I’ve finished nailing all your sex toys to the wall. Paddy’s Wife: You f*cking useless twat I said I wanted a dado rail!
My grandma was literally stunned by the Samsung G7 Note mobile phone that I got her for Christmas.
I still remember the old days when I used to load my computer with a floppy. That all changed after internet p*rn was invented.
Q: Why Do Some People Say Jesus Is Black? A: Because He Is Our Father But He Never Came Back