Really hate my nine to five job. Starting work at 4:51 is ridiculous
Did you hear the latest story about some major tennis players being involved in witchcraft?? Goran, even he’s a witch.
Decided to have a posh wank today.
The people at the suit hire shop were really angry that I ruined their tuxedo.
Just did a great prank on my Grandma, I replaced all her sugar with cocaine.
Grab your taco, you’ve pulled a dyslexic Mexican.
Me and my wife had a candlelit dinner for the first time last night. It was terrible, everything was really under-cooked and tasted of wax.