I’d just like to thank all those people who have taken the time to put beautiful flowers by the side of the road. It really brightens up my drive to work.
Just saved a woman tonight from the shame of prostitution. I didn’t pay her.
What’s the difference between an Afghan hospital and an Al Qaeda training camp?
I don’t know I just fly the drone.
Got a rubbish thesaurus for my birthday the other day. It was rubbish.
I went to a French restaurant last night and was served by a hideously ugly waitress. She really gave me the crepes.
Went to the gym last night and lost 4 stones in one day.
I accidentally ripped my leg off on the squat machine.