Don’t you just hate it when your clothes mysteriously vanish and you get arrested for being half-naked in public. That’s the last time I ever wear Bermuda shorts again.
Went to a really good Korean restaurant last night. The meatballs were the dogs b*llocks.
Hi, last night my computer wouldn’t allow me to reset my windows password because it needed numbers. Can I have your number?
Q. Why are black Jews the worst treated race on the planet?
A. Because they have to go to the back of the oven.
I love minorities. My wife is actually an intelligent woman.
Why do deaf people watch TV late at night?
Because they can’t hear their alarm go off in the morning.