Q. What do you call a magician who is crap at magic?
The following conversation took place in a park.
Person 1 “Is that ur dog?”
Person 2 “No I had to adopt him. I spent years trying to make one but in the end wasn’t able to conceive.”
Just opened my kitchen cupboard and loads of Omega 3 vitamin containers fell on my head.
It’s OK though, I only have super fish oil injuries.
Is your body from McDonalds?
…… Because you’re fat.
Wooh wooh did an earthquake just happen or did you just rock my world?
I heard on the radio today that the average person only recycles 3 bottles of wine per year! How dare you? Every week I recycle dozens of wine bottles and beer cans. Come on people!!! I can’t fix global warming by myself.