Your face makes onions cry.
Q. Why are women like cars? A. Because sometimes you have to use a choke to get them going.
David Moyes recently appeared at a charity event where he said “AIDS was a terrible disease”. That’s rich coming from him, at least AIDS managed to get into Europe.
Why did the Spirm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong socks before I went for a walk.
Q. Why do deaf women wear tight jeans? A. So you can read their lips.
Is it hot in here or are you boobs just really huge?