Hi, me and my friend were just talking and he wondered if you think I’m cute.
Went to the supermarket today to find a candle holder but they didn’t have one so I decided to buy a cake instead.
According to my Samsung phone my ‘morning run’ has been changed to ‘morning rum’. Sounds good to me.
My cooking is awful.
Does anyone know how much vodka you’re supposed to add to cheese-on-toast?
Q. Why are women like cars? A. Because sometimes you have to use a choke to get them going.
David Moyes recently appeared at a charity event where he said “AIDS was a terrible disease”. That’s rich coming from him, at least AIDS managed to get into Europe.