Got thrown out a Strip club last night for using monopoly money. I don’t see why I should pay real money to see fake boobs.
What did the left butt cheek tell the right one..?
If we stick together, we can stop this sh*t.
What do you call a Chinese Billionaire?
Cha Ching !
Just had the following conversation in court.
Judge: State your name.
Me: Not Guilty
Me: I had it legally changed.
Judge: You’re Not Guilty?
Me: Thanks, I’m outta here.
Yo mama is so fat when she took her pants to the dry cleaners they said “sorry we don’t do curtains”
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman…
“Yes,” I replied.
“I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”
I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”