My psychiatrist said that I have the memory of an elephant.
I keep thinking about elephants.
Met a woman in a bar last night, took her back to mine and I couldn’t get it up.
She said “Don’t worry, it’s totally normal, used to happen to me all the time before the operation”.
I heard women love a man in uniform so just got a job working at McDonalds.
Just got fired from my job at Lastminute.com, I kept turning up late.
Went to the doctors today and he told me that I was too fat. I told him I wanted a 2nd opinion and then he told me I was ugly as well.
My ex-girlfriend was really terrible in bed. She would just lie there screaming “noooooo!”.