My girlfriend told me she wanted to be treated like a princess so I got her a broom and arranged for her to do some cleaning at her ugly step-sister’s house.
Our new puppy’s been rolling around in its own shit.
That’s what I’m telling the wife anyway. Easier to explain than the fact that I ran out of toilet paper.
Since my wife left me I’ve been left with a really big gap to fill.. She was quite fat and we had a memory foam mattress.
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Nothing ruins a great Friday more than realizing it’s actually Wednesday.
If two vegans have an argument is it still called a beef… or is it a quornfrontation?