Financially I‘m set for life, provided i die next wednesday.
The following conversation took place while on safari.
Wife: Wow those hippos are really fat and ugly, are they relatives of yours? Me: Yeah, they’re my in-laws
Just had the following conversation at hospital.
Nurse: What happened to your fingers? Me: You know those chefs who cut vegetables really fast? Nurse: Yes? Me: I can’t do that.
Get more value for money by sitting on top of the bus. Due to the circumference of the Earth you’ll travel an extra 0.0000000000013% further than the people downstairs.
Bonjour Madam, Are you a tower??? Because Eiffel for you!
Someone called me racist the other day. I can’t be racist, my wife has a black eye.