I was taking a shit at 11:59 and the clock struck midnight.
I thought to myself “same shit different day”.
Q: Why are women like condoms?
A: The both spend about 90% of the time in your wallet and 10% of the time on your cock
What has four legs and says boo? A cow with a cold.
Q. What do women and snowflakes have in common?
A. They’re both beautiful, elegant, unique and deadly on the road.
What do relationships and video games have in common?
They both start off easy, then they get a little harder and then you end up cheating.
I was in the park the other day wondering why radio controlled air-planes get bigger the closer they get, and then it hit me.