Just been punched by my brother for trying to kiss he new baby on the forehead. Apparently I have to wait for the baby to be born first.
Robin: Hey Batman, wanna hear a joke? Batman: Sure Robin, what is it? Robin: Knock knock Batman: Who’s there? Robin: NOT YOUR PARENTS
Did you hear about the soldier who survived being attacked by mustard gas and pepper spray.
He’s now become a seasoned veteran.
Q. Why did the worker on the egg farm get fired from his job?
A. Because he had a crack addiction.
What’s the difference between a woman and a terrorist?? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
If God made everything then does that mean he’s Chinese?