The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Just told my wife I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist. She told me she’s been seeing a psychiatrist, a bartender and 2 plumbers.

Q. What do you do if your wife comes crawling back?

A. Drag her back into the garden and make sure you dig the hole deeper.

Q:What do you do if your wife keeps moaning at you?

A:Put the phone down and order another drink from the bar.

Three things that can make a man depressed.

1. Job Sucks
2. Bank balance sucks
3. Wife doesn’t suck

My wife made me dress up as a policeman last night. I really didn’t feel like going into work but apparently my sergeant called and threatened disciplinary action if I didn’t turn up.