The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Candlelit Dinner

in Relationship Jokes
+18 -44

Me and my wife had a candlelit dinner for the first time last night. It was terrible, everything was really under-cooked and tasted of wax.

Bag and Belt

in Relationship Jokes
+14 -41

My wife wanted a bag and a belt for her birthday so I got her a vacuum cleaner.

Experimenting

in Relationship Jokes
+10 -39

Spent the whole of last night experimenting with drugs.

I put acid into my wife’s tea.

Egg Cooking Advice

in Surreal Jokes
+8 -38

Instead of wasting money on costly egg timers simply boil your egg to perfection by getting in your car and driving at 60 mph for exactly 3 miles. When you reach the 3 mile mark call your wife and tell her to take it out the pan.