The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Pinocchio

in Relationship Jokes
+11 -44

My wife’s a bit like Pinocchio. Every time she tells me lies, her nose swells up.

Dead Wife

in Relationship Jokes
+16 -50

My first wife who I met in Thailand died 3 years ago today. Testicular cancer is a brutal disease.

Love Chocolate

in Racist Jokes, Relationship Jokes
+43 -79

My ex-wife used to love chocolate. I think that’s one of the reasons why she ran off with a Jamaican man.

Muggy

in Relationship Jokes
+8 -45

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife.

Husband: It’s a bit muggy tonight my love.
Wife: If you’ve put all our mugs in the garden again I’m gonna divorce you.
Husband: *Drinks a sip of tea from plant pot.*

Brides

in Relationship Jokes
+36 -73

Why do brides wear white?

So the dishwasher matches the refrigerator.

Freezer

in Animal Jokes, Relationship Jokes
+11 -57

My wife shouted at me today for forgetting to take the lamb out the freezer. Sadly it couldn’t withstand the freezing temperatures and died after a couple of hours.