The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Can’t believe how kinky my wife is, she loves it in the ear. Everytime I put it near her face she turns her head to the side.

Me and my wife met on the net… We were both trapeze artists.

Can’t believe my wife. Tried to have sex with her in the dark last night. I put my wiener into her hand and she “No thanks I don’t want to smoke.”

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife whilst at a restaurant.

Husband: What do you want to drink?
Wife: I guess I’ll have champagne.
Husband: Guess again.. Maybe you should go for a diet coke?

Q. What does an Ikea cabinet and a marriage have in common?
A. One screw out of place and the whole thing falls apart.

My wife just kicked me out of the house because my Arnold Schwarzenegger impression was really bad. But don’t worry…

I’ll return.