The Best Funny Wife Jokes

I think I might be the most unlucky person in the world. Last night my wife told me she wants to have sex on the back seat of her car, she was wondering if I could drive.

Me and my wife have an on-off relationship. Every time I get on she tells me to get off.

Last night my wife allowed me to go on top.
I love bunk beds!!

My wife always complains. Last week she was complaining that I never take her anywhere so last night I booked her a table but she still wasn’t happy. Apparently she hates snooker.

Had a really stiff neck when I woke up this morning. My wife said she hopes it spreads.

Why did my wife cross the road? To get back to the first shoe shop we went in three f*cking hours ago.