The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Chineseman

in Dirty Jokes
+1624 -843

chinese man rings boss “me no work I sick” boss says “when im sick I f*ck my wife try that” 2 hours later chinese man rings back “me better, you got nice house

Breast Implants

in Relationship Jokes
+458 -170

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife at the dinner table.

Wife: Can I have $20’000 to get some breast implants to make them bigger.
Husband: Why don’t you just rub toilet paper on your nipples.
Wife: Does that really work?
Husband: Well it seems to have worked on your ass.

Wife + Computer = Trouble

in Relationship Jokes
+386 -113

The following text messages were exchanged on a cold winters day in December.

Wife: “Windows frozen.”
Husband: “Pour some warm water over them.”
Wife: “Computer completely screwed up now.”

Wife Orgazm

in Relationship Jokes
+245 -95

I asked my wife to let me know next time she has an orgazm but she said that she doesn’t like to call me at work.

Lip Balm

in Relationship Jokes
+141 -39

Earlier today my wife asked me to pass her some lip balm but I ended up giving her superglue by mistake. She’s still not talking to me.

Lottery Win

in Relationship Jokes
+143 -47

The following conversation took place between a wife and husband after a lottery win.

Husband: If I won the lottery what would you do?
Wife: I’d divorce you and take half the money.
Husband: Ok, well I just won $10, here’s $5 now f*ck off!!