The Best Funny Jew Jokes

My Jewish mate has been with his Tourette’s suffering girlfriend for years now.  I always wondered what kept them together.

Then I saw the swear jar.

Went to a party last night. I thought I looked pretty smart, but some Jewish c*nt came up to me and said “The ’70s called… They want their shirt back!” so I said, “The ’40s called… your shower’s ready.”

What is the object of Jewish football?

To get the quarter back.

What’s the difference between a Jew and an onion.

You cry when you chop up an onion.