Best Funny Surreal Jokes

Just poured superglue into a non-stick pan…. Somebody is going to be wrong.

It’s amazing how quickly the sales staff at Ikea come to “assist you” once you take off your trousers and get into one of their beds.

I used to think drink driving was bad but apparently my local liquor store told me that they only sell alcohol to people with driving licences.

Someone close to me died the other day. Luckily there was another space available on the bus so I moved seats.

My granddad died peacefully in his sleep last night. Unfortunately the passengers on his bus all died screaming.

The following conversation took place while using a Ouija board.

Me: Will I ever find true love?
Ouija board: W O U L D U L I K E S O M E T E A
Me: Not now grandma, I’m busy.