Best Funny Surreal Jokes

I went to the hospital yesterday to get a lump removed. He weighed 9 lbs and we’ve named him Dave.

Just had a really interesting conversation with a Psychology graduate about how on average people tend to day-dream about 40% of the time. He also said something else that was interesting but I forgot the rest of the conversation, will have to ask him again next time he serves me in McDonald’s.

Did they name the white powdery stuff you get at the beach ‘sand’ because it’s between the sea and the land?

I slept like a log last night…. Woke up in a forest covered with ants.

Can’t believe how dangerous the streets are becoming! Just this afternoon I stole an old ladys handbag and punched someone at a bus stop.

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it…
My illegal logging business is a great success.