Best Funny Sports Jokes

Funny short sports jokes mostly about football but also includes jokes about various stupid sports stars.

Bolt Controller

in Political Jokes, Sports Jokes
+11 -22

Q. What do Usain Bolt and a Malaysian air-traffic controller have in common?
A. They both sweat a lot during work.

Tesco Burgers

in Sports Jokes
+16 -28

Tesco Value Burgers – Low in fat high in Shergar.

What do you put on your burgers? A fiver each way.

Wayne Rooney Hair

in Sports Jokes
+14 -26

Why did the ‘hare’ cross the road?

To avoid being surgically attached to Wayne Rooney’s scalp.

London Marathon

in Sports Jokes
+16 -29

Did anyone else see the London Marathon the other day? Seems a bit cruel to get hundreds of Ethiopians and Kenyans to run around for miles and then give them an empty silver plate at the end.

John Terry Donation

in Sports Jokes
+16 -29

In a bid to promote his image and ease race relations John Terry has kindly donated 100 trumpets to an African orphanage in Nigeria. Apparently he was quoted as saying “Blacks are naturally talented at music and with their big lips they should be great at trumpet playing”.

Manchester United Beep

in Sports Jokes
+14 -29

What’s red and beeps? The Manchester United open-top bus reversing back in the garage.