Best Funny Sports Jokes

Funny short sports jokes mostly about football but also includes jokes about various stupid sports stars.

Crunches

in Sports Jokes
+10 -19

If by “crunches” you mean the sound my mouth makes while eating bacon then yes, I do “crunches”.

Mental Patient

in Sports Jokes
+13 -23

The following conversation took place between a mental patient and a doctor.

Patient: Doctor please help me. I keep thinking I’m John McEnroe!
Doctor: You can’t be serious!!

Oscar Pistorious

in Sports Jokes
+12 -23

Oscar Pistorius may be guilty but to be fair girls spend f*cking ages in the bathroom!

Oscar Pistorious Bail

in Sports Jokes
+8 -19

Since his release on bail Oscar Pistorious has decided to spend the weekend clay pigeon shooting to relax. So far he’s accidentally killed 2 elephants and shot a Jeep that was on safari.

Manchester United

in Sports Jokes
+13 -24

Just signed a £250,000 per week contract to play for Manchester United.

I just need to get them to sign it now.

Bolt Controller

in Political Jokes, Sports Jokes
+11 -22

Q. What do Usain Bolt and a Malaysian air-traffic controller have in common?
A. They both sweat a lot during work.