Best Funny Sports Jokes

Funny short sports jokes mostly about football but also includes jokes about various stupid sports stars.

Ladies Man Chat-Up Line

in Pick Up Lines, Sports Jokes
+27 -36

Hey babe, I’m a real ladies man. I’ve been down more holes than Tiger Woods.

Tesco Burgers

in Sports Jokes
+16 -26

Tesco Value Burgers – Low in fat high in Shergar.

What do you put on your burgers? A fiver each way.

Manchester United

in Sports Jokes
+12 -22

Just signed a £250,000 per week contract to play for Manchester United.

I just need to get them to sign it now.

Mental Patient

in Sports Jokes
+13 -23

The following conversation took place between a mental patient and a doctor.

Patient: Doctor please help me. I keep thinking I’m John McEnroe!
Doctor: You can’t be serious!!

Oscar Pistorious

in Sports Jokes
+12 -23

Oscar Pistorius may be guilty but to be fair girls spend f*cking ages in the bathroom!

Oscar Pistorious Bail

in Sports Jokes
+8 -19

Since his release on bail Oscar Pistorious has decided to spend the weekend clay pigeon shooting to relax. So far he’s accidentally killed 2 elephants and shot a Jeep that was on safari.